It is cloudy and silent at the moment on this Saturday morning, and I am enjoying a nice cup of coffee. The quiet of the house is very therapeutic and much needed.
The last few weeks have been an emotional jumble for me. Work has consumed my mental and emotional energy. New leadership with definitive directional change came on board and most of us are working in a state of constant uncertainty. Everything is being looked at, analyzed, and nothing is off limits. We're also in process of merging two departments, so I'm working with new people, learning their personalities, watching dramas unfold, and trying to discern what's my business and what's not. None of this is bad, but oh so very draining!
The upside to this is that I'm being challenged professionally. Challenged to "step up my game", to be willing and able to change, and to think outside the box. Surely I've helped stave off Alzheimer's a bit more since I'm sure I've been firing brain synapses that haven't been used in a while!
Another upside is I am being forced to confront my insecurities and deal with them so I can move on and succeed. I have overcome a lot of insecurities in my lifetime, but there are still those few that pop up and pester me. Ignoring them isn't going to do it for me this time. I'm taking them out of the closet, setting them front and center and addressing them. I suspect they will never completely go away, but when I put them back in the closet this time they should be considerably smaller.
I'm choosing this morning to not think about work, but to focus on right here, right now. The laundry I can wash and put away, the floor to be swept and made clean, the table cleared off and set pretty, and my new laptop that I can write blog posts on
Energy being restored . . .
Labels: emotional jumble, insecurities, therapeutic silence