I recently went to a dance recital for a friend of my daughter. I realized I'm never going to be a ballerina, or a tap dancer. Of course I've never taken a dance lesson in my life so it's never truly been a dream of mine.
In high school I took a drama class in 9th grade and played one of the lead roles in our play that year. It was the perfect role, I wasn't the pretty young character, but I played her mother and loved being a main supporting role (think Rhoda in Mary Tyler Moore). While I never did anything to pursue that the rest of my life, I confess to some unspoken fantasy that I would be "discovered" while shopping, eating, walking, or on vacation. It is time to give up that fantasy. My actions prove that my fantasy is just that, a fantasy and not a goal or real desire.
Sometimes we have desires or goals that just don't work out. I would have been a terrific teacher, but circumstances helped distract me and by the time it became a goal again, life got in the way. I could still be a teacher if I went back to school full-time, but by then I would have very few years to teach and it's just not worth the effort to me. Instead I choose to focus on where my journey has led me and I am quite content with where I find myself.
I'm not going to be a dancer, or an actress, or a teacher. That's okay. I've had enough life experience now to know that I can't enjoy who I am if all I do is focus on who I am not. This is not resignation, or being a "realist", it's choosing to seize the moment and enjoy today. Will I still have goals and dreams? Of course! Just not the same ones I had 20, 10, or even 5 years ago.
Enjoy the moment, and who knows what dreams will come true?
Labels: actress, dreams, goals, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, teacher