Thanksgiving brings a lot of memories to mind. Not many childhood memories for some reason, but after I got married. I live in one state and my parents and sister lived 600 miles away. My husband and I would drive every Thanksgiving to spend it with my family. The only years we didn't go at Thanksgiving were when I had just had a baby or once because we went right after Christmas. It just worked out that Thanksgiving was the time we would go. In time my sister got married and we had stairstep children. She went first, then me, then her again, then me, then me again and then her. The trip was long, some years longer than others depending on the age of the kids, but predictable.
My sister and I have always had a tenuous relationship. Nine years age difference, totally different personalities (I was very compliant and she was more of a free spirit), and distance (I moved away a couple of times) made a difficult chasm for us to cross. Our lifestyles took different paths. As adults we got along, but distance was both a blessing and a curse in our relationship.
My mother passed away four years ago. We went that first year, but as anyone knows who has lost a parent, it's never quite the same. My Dad came to my brother's house (we live in the same town) for Thanksgiving the next couple of years and then moved here.
This added to the strain on my sister and I. We had more ups and downs. Resentments, some old, some new, bubbled in and out of our lives. Choices made that we didn't agree with rubbed raw old wounds. Facebook, ah Facebook was another one of the blessings and curses. Great for sharing pictures and life happenings, but an opportunity for misunderstood statuses and quick remarks. Finally I decided I couldn't take it anymore. So I did the unthinkable - I defriended my only sister.
I am not proud of this. I could easily have just blocked her posts from showing up or unsubscribing from her newsfeed. I could have blocked her being able to make comments on my posts, but I chose to make the hard break. To take a stand. I decided it wasn't healthy for me. Maybe it wasn't, but she's my sister. I claim to be a Christian, yet have not shown love. What a hypocrite I am.
It has been months now. I mailed her a birthday card this summer, but have done nothing else. I sneak around and look at her Facebook page, ask my Dad how she's doing, and even occasionally offer up a prayer for her. In spite of our dysfunctional sisterhood, I miss her. I am hoping she will forgive me when I work up the courage to send her a friend request.
I have decided to give thanks this year for my family, all of my family - warts and all.
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
Labels: memories, relationship, sister, Thanksgiving