The Countdown Begins

With a mixture of apathy, anticipation, and anxiety - I am approaching my 50th birthday.  I'd keep it a secret - but I have kids - so there are none.  I can't figure out how I feel about it.  One part of me says - "no big deal" (that's the part that comes from having a birthday on New Year's Eve, so everyone thinks I have a big party every year - but it's really just more of an inconvenience).  Another part of me feels like this is a wonderful beginning (that's the part that feels relatively young because I'm still raising kids at home - late start).  And then another part of me says, the end is coming (this is the part that thinks about the mortality of man and is starting to feel the aches and pains of a decaying body).  So - can you say conflicted?

I can't decide between hiding under the covers until it's all over or taking a bold stand about all that I shall accomplish in the next decade.  It will probably be some blending of the two.

I'll keep you posted.

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